In the media, shoe shopping is portrayed as a highly desirable activity, filled with wonder and delight. True, it is better than clothes shopping, but only because shoes don't usually make my feet look fat.
Of course, no one has yet made a documentary of shoe shopping with Madeleine and Malcolm to shatter the popular positive image that shoe shopping maintains. It's not all their fault; I've never been a fan of shoe salespeople. I've encountered a good one now and again, but in general they fall into one of two categories: overly helpful, or impossible to find. We had the former today, and Madeleine was so annoyed that she composed this poem in the car on the way home.
There was an annoying sales clerk
Whose helpful manner just made her a jerk.
Her guidance I couldn't refuse
As she insisted on finding me shoes.
No matter how hard I did pray
She simply would not go away.
She must have committed a crime
She talked for such a long time.
After she left (for she had to breathe)
My hatred of shoe shopping inside of me seethed.
I dreamt that she had been lynched
Then sadly awoke when pinched.
